Screw the Generational Gap, Get Sexxxy

When I went home to celebrate my graduation from college with the folks, they were ecstatic to hear that I had found a second job so quickly that was in my field. It was when I told them I would be working at a sex-positive, progressive adult toy store that they stopped smiling so broadly and looked more dumbfounded than anything. As I rambled on and on about how the Kitten is a feminist store, that it is a radical step in the right direction towards sexual health, that pleasure is good, and healthy pleasure is better, somewhere in the mix I found myself screaming, “What the hell do you think I’ve been studying for the past four years?!” I couldn’t believe that with a Gender, Women, and Sexuality Studies degree they were surprised to find out I was working within a branch of the sexual health sector. Clearly, we were going to have to sort out a few generational differences.

It took about a month of me working at the Kitten before I got a call from mom. Mom was looking for advice. Now I know what a lot of you are thinking: Why the hell would you have that conversation with your mom? Mom has always been mom to me, but before she was ever a mom she was also a woman. Therefore, moms, like any other person, have sexual needs, desires, and questions as it were. I also took this opportunity to show mom why the Smitten Kitten exists and why I am proud to work here.

In short, I put together a care package, just as she had for me in my college days, and shipped it off to do its good work for both her and my fathers pleasure.

It was these two experiences that made me really begin to give critical thought to how rapidly our views around sexuality have changed and continue to. According to a Star Tribune article, our views HAVE changed! In sum, the article points out that we are currently residing in the largest generational gap since the 1960s, with one of the greatest points of divide being relationships and dating. It is apparent that there is a huge shift away from the conventional Man-Woman hook up via the MRS.-degree. Today, more than ever, people are asking for something different: to throw a little vibrator into the traditional missionary position, maybe some cuffs and tethers to lock your love down, or maybe a book on how to be an Ethical Slut (I highly suggest this book!). Whatever it is, sex is a journey and there are tons of ways to go through that if we stay open, positive, and forward looking.

It is when your mom calls you up for suggestions that we begin collapsing this generational divide around sexuality and pleasure. While it may be an uncomfortable couple of seconds, when you begin to see her less as a mom and more as a woman, everyone will feel more sexy, more pleased, and more happy (I’m sure of it!)